I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
