i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
