Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
