Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
