So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
