Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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