Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
