So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
