where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
