By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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