Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
