check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
