she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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