Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
