You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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