If i come over, it means nothing
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
