Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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