the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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