what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
