You really coming over, don't trick.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
