If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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