Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
