yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
