I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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