my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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