loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
