used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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