I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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