I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
