how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you didnt know i had herpes?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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