I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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