cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
