I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
