for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
