i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
