about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize