I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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