So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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