i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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