____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
