She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
