Kiss
Puke
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
