I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
