Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
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I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize