Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
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i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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