I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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