She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
