Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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