there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So many bounce houses so little time
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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