clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
