if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We have started to decorate penises.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
