I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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