Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize