please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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