I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
