life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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