3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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