I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
