I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
What drink are we having for lunch?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
