Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
