I just cut my nipple shaving
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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