Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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