I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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