ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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