Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
