how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
