God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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