problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
